Oh, joy. Another post about someone's damn dog. How original.
Well, I'm having a(n) [adjective] day so far. I'm at [location] right now, updating my Facebook page with my [computer, laptop, phone, other].
A few hours ago I got an email from [name] who told me my Facebook page is [insert pejorative adjective here]. What a [pejorative adjective] [pronoun] is! I really hope they get [pejorative verb] in the [body part] by [an animal/a vehicle/Danny DeVito], repeatedly.
I wrote a poem for my Facebook page! Here it is:
The [adverb] of [emotional state]
I am falling [direction] to my [noun]
Emotions grab at my [body part], never letting go.
Will [first person pronoun] ever find [third person pronoun]?
I do not [verb] so.
I am falling...
I am a [person, place, or thing], weeping.
I am falling.
Falling...
Falling...
And the [animal] [verbs] under a blood-moon sky.
Pretty good, eh? I'm thinking of submitting it to [obscure online magazine only read by writers, online trolls, and Danny DeVito].
Well, I guess I better get back to [work, rest, eating cold Chef Boyardee Ravioli out of the can].
We've all been there.
Oh, before I go, I found a really cool Facebook page, it's at [link]. It's run by a [relative, friend, acquaintance, enemy, ex-partner] of mine, so post a lot of [pejorative adjective] comments there, okay?
I hope everyone is having a(n) [adjective] day! I'll write a longer post on my Facebook page tomorrow, I promise. I'll tell you all about the time [name] [past tense verb] me really, really [adverb] in the [removed by Facebook auto-moderator].
[Goodbye/so long/see you later] for [now, tomorrow, a few days, a few weeks, never again].